Today I went to get my haircut and stopped by the store where I buy all my bling (translation:$2 rings of faux and gaudy rockingnessisity). AND IT WASNT THERE. This is especially concerning not because I need more bling (right now i’m fighting off the urge to go back to India and live off of two outfits and a shaved head) but because I won’t be able to buy more bling to give to other people! I love wearing something, having it complimented, and being able to give it away. But that won’t happen if I don’t have it to wear!!
Some of you are thinking right now, “I should test this, I should compliment something she owns and see if she’ll give it to me.” And you know what? Save the necklace that has charms from my mother, grandmother, and teresa, i WILL. I might have to go home and change first, but I’ll give it to you. For two reasons:
I am filled with Joy at giving people things, and I was raised this way. If I am around almost any woman in my family, and compliment something, it will probably be on me or on it’s way to my car before I can realize my folly. They won’t hesitate to expect the same of me. Yep, I’ve lost a dog and some significant wardrobe to the practice, and yet I advocate it. ( I liked the dog!!)
You might think this is crazy. What if someone compliments something with huge emotional value that you could never replace? Don’t give it if that is not where your heart is. I understand, as stated above, I wouldn’t. But what if someone asks for your shoes? Not just the ones you aren’t that attached to, but the ones you really wanted? The ones for which you paid a little more than you should have? The ones you’ve worn in till they fit just right? What would happen if you gave not just what you intended to give, but what you intended to enjoy?
What happens to me every time, if it’s a trinket that I don’t care much about, is that I am happy to be burdened with one less thing to lose, and even happier to have the opportunity to give part of me away to someone else, no matter how small.
What happens when it’s something I intended to keep, or to invest (as has been the case many times when a financial request was made of me) and I feel the call to give, is of far more significance. I am reminded that NOTHING I have is actually mine . It is all lent to me, “my” breaths, “my” time, “my” stuff, it’s all His. And I’m glad He decided to give it to me. I’m an iphone afficionado. But what if he asked me to give it away? Would I say, “No, Daddy, I want this…” And thereby actually say, “No, Daddy, I don’t trust you.?” I cannot honestly say.
I pray that I can live more and more like Christ, who by his nature truely had right to and possession of everything, and gave each thing to us, that we might be reconciled to God. I pray that I might give away all that I have, knowing it is not mine to keep but to steward, and therefore be used in the reconciliation of God’s people to the Daddy I know keeps me better than the lillies and the sparrows*.
Maybe someday I’ll even give away the necklace.
*Oh, hello Christianese. Been seeing a lot of you lately. 😉