There were just a few things I felt the Lord wanted me to do today. And I’m pretty sure i did NONE of them. ::looks at journal:: More precisely, there were 9 things I wrote down according to the leading of the Spirit when I asked what I should do today, and I did six of them and one was canceled. But I still had a very hard time looking at my day and knowing I hadn’t done all the Lord had asked of me. I even started to fall asleep while Teresa was watching the last of her night’s cartoons. And then it was time to put her to bed.
So we walked down to her room, hopped in bed, quizzed over her spelling (yay Teresa is can spell chlorophyll!) and read for 15 minutes. Tonight, I used the nasally bad guy voice (kind like from Meet the Robinsons). Then it was time to sing a song and scratch her back because yes, that is how I put children to bed. So it being December, I sand her “Carol of the Bells.” And then God did something fantastic.
For some insane reason, even though I’ve been putting her to bed at least one night a week for over a year, I’ve rarely talked to Teresa about God. Not in depth, anyway. I bring Him up in the everyday stuff, like I do to everyone, but I don’t teach her very much. Which is weird cause…that’s pretty much what I do at church, is tell Bible lessons in kid words. But tonight God whispered in my ear, “Tell her the Christmas story.” So I did. I started in the Garden, got to Noah, told her about the Israelites’ many failures, and sacrifices. And then we talked about Jesus being the ultimate sacrifice, and how loving Him is the only way we get to be with God. And then, and only then, did we backtrack to the manger.
It floored me that even as I was teaching a 7 year old that God loves us and bestows us with gifts we could never earn, that I still expect him to smite me and tsk tsk when I don’t finish the to-do list He gave me. Now don’t get me wrong, I think I was supposed to do all of those things- as in it would have been responsible, rewarding, and right. But God knew that I was going to slack off, to not give my 100%, to let some things fall and pursue other things. And somehow it was his plan that though I know my folly, I still get the gift of snuggling with and singing to this baby girl who i love so much, and teaching her that more than that, the King who left his throne to come save her is reigning victorious, and though she, even in her little-girl wonder, has an innate sense that no matter how hard she tries she will always do “not-just-right,” she’s been made right with God.
I hope to be able to lean more on the Lord’s schedule, so that I can face, unafraid, the plans that he’s made…. (walking in a winter wonderland). I’m sorry, I had to!! The Holiday music has been following me around!