In Feast or Fallow

I’m literally sitting in a Sandra Mccracken/ Derek Webb concert(magic phone), and Sandra just sang a song with many lyrics, none of which I caught for my wandering wonderings other than: “I don’t want to lose you again.”

In this season of transition, I found myself questioning: can I? Can I lose more? Will I endure through more loss? And In honesty I answered myself, “I don’t know.”

What if I never have a “home?”
What if I he never loves me?
What if, at the end of every month, I have to wonder about the money for the next one?
What if? Could I do it? Could I stand to see every one of my dreams fall? I’m not saying they have, but what if they do?

I don’t know if I could make it.

And just as sure of his self as I am unsure of mine, The Lord whispers “I can.” oh, yeah. You are my strength and my portion, forever.

Maybe sometimes I need to remember how much power I don’t have in order to remember how much he does.

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